My Body-Mine Read online

  I entered the house with some trepidation, wondering if Janice would be there. I hoped it would just be Marcello and me.

  “How was dinner?” he said, sitting in his usual spot on the couch.

  Settling in next to him, I said, “Ultimately not as bad as I thought. Rather uncomfortable at first but it got better. Andre seems like the perfect match for Parker and I enjoyed seeing them so happy together.”

  “And the friend he brought?”

  “He seemed somewhat forward but also interesting.” I shrugged my shoulders. “They want me to go out with them next Saturday to hear friends perform at a jazz club.”

  “And what do you want?”

  “I told them you might already have plans for me,” I said.

  “I approve of that response but it doesn’t answer my question.”

  “I feel rather ambivalent.”

  “Hmmm, I think you should go. You need to spend time with friends. Just remember our contract and that you are used to men, not boys.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Jane, don’t play naïve with me. You’re a gorgeous woman. Any man—no, every man—would consider themselves lucky to spend time with you. I doubt, however, that someone your age could handle your needs.”

  I blushed, at a loss as to what to say.

  “Did he seem taken with you?” Marcello sipped his scotch as if not at all invested in my answer.

  “Taken? I’m not sure I’d use that word but he did flirt with me. He seemed like the naturally flirtatious type.”

  “Did he flirt with the waitress?”

  “No, but—” I said, shaking my head.

  “Or Parker?”

  “Well, no … What does it matter, anyway?” I leaned toward him. “I’m not interested,” I said.

  “Are you sure about that?” He inclined his head, his eyes boring in like an X-ray into my heart.

  “I thought things were progressing well for us,” I said. “That is, until today, where I’m left with a lot of questions.”

  “About what’s going on with me and Janice?” Marcello asked.

  “That and the house.”

  Marcello’s head snapped in my direction. “What house? This house?”

  “The beach house. I went by there today.”

  “For what purpose?” I should have known that the news wouldn’t be welcome, but Marcello’s raised volume startled me.

  “We can explore my motives another time, Marcello. I’d like to know what the heck is going on. Why did you tell me Luke put the house on the market? All of our stuff is still there, minus the few boxes you and Janice brought here for me.”

  “He asked me to extract your personal belongings so I did.”

  “That doesn’t explain what you told me when you visited me in the stress unit. I found no ‘For Sale’ sign.”

  “I thought it would be easier for you to move on if that were the case, and he was definitely considering it. He mentioned possibly selling the house the last time I went by there.”

  “You are challenging my trust in you. How do I know what’s true anymore?”

  “Always know that my actions are motivated by your best interests.”

  “You don’t get to decide that, Lu—I mean Marcello. Fuck!”

  “Jaaaane,” he said, stretching my name out in frustration, like a kettle about to whistle and steam. Inhaling deeply, he struggled to maintain control.

  He hated other people cursing, although he wasn’t above it himself. He and my mother had that in common. Sometimes the words just shot out of me without warning. Almost saying Luke’s name hadn’t helped matters.

  Watching him take another swallow of Scotch, I decided it might help me as well. Taking the half-filled glass from his hand, I downed the remainder. It scorched my throat and warmed me. My legs felt weak.

  He took the empty glass from my hand and placed it on the table. “I promise that from this moment on, I will be completely honest with you.” He gave each word equal weight. Then he rose and stepped over to the hutch, refilling his tumbler. Shifting to face me, he continued, “I stand firm that your unwillingness to break ties with Luke is keeping you from truly moving forward. From truly healing.”

  “Wait—” I said.

  A thrust of his palm cut me off. “However, I have to assume from your behavior that it’s not done. That leaves me far more concerned than the possibility of what any mere boy might bring to the table.” Keeping an arm’s length distance between us, he sat on the couch and took another pull of the liquor.

  “You don’t get it,” I said. “I don’t have any desire to see Luke again. I just wanted to see the house. I expected it to be occupied by different people, not by all our furniture and belongings.” I really wanted the conversation to be over, but I still had questions. “And Janice? Did you talk to her? Resolve anything? Do you know what she thinks about you and us?”

  “No, and yes.”

  “You can’t keep shutting me out. I did what you recommended and talked with her. What’s going on with you is affecting my relationship with her and the comfort level in this house.”

  “I realize that, but the situation isn’t easily remedied.”

  “Well, it might help if I understood the situation. What is going on? Is she right about your feelings for me?”

  Staring into his glass, he said, “It’s not uncommon when a Dom brings a new sub into the house that she tends to get more attention for a while.”

  “You’re going to speak to me in generalities?”

  “What is it you want to hear?” He kept his eyes on the bottom of the glass.

  “The truth would be good.” But as the words came out I wished I could take them back.

  “I’m in love with you.” He sighed and sank back against the couch.

  His answer, although not unexpected, knocked the wind out of me. “And obsessed?” I heard myself say, my voice nearly inaudible.

  “A bit.”

  “And Janice?”

  “I love her but it’s different. And right now—”

  “So she was right then.”

  “Yes.”

  “What do you plan to do?” I felt anger and confusion in equal measure.

  Marcello placed his glass on the end table next to him and said, “This is one of those situations that just takes time.”

  “Janice didn’t sound particularly patient,” I said.

  “She’ll be visiting one of my good friends next weekend.”

  “That’s the solution?”

  “The immediate one, yes.”

  The silence stretched between us. I felt pain in my heart. I knew very well how it felt to love someone more than they loved you. I had loved Luke more than he loved me, more than I even loved myself, and it had cost us both way too much. And now somehow I’d become the withholder, sandwiched between Janice and Marcello’s relationship.

  Marcello loved me? I still couldn’t wrap my mind around that. It left me to wonder if his love stemmed from my refusal—or my inability—to surrender. A man like Marcello wasn’t used to being denied. I knew I could never love another person as much I had loved Luke or that I even sought to.

  Keeping the thoughts to myself, I said, “I honestly don’t see how sending her away will help but I’m not Janice.” Sliding over to the corner of the couch so I sat close enough to touch Marcello’s arm I said, “What is it you want from me, Marcello? And please don’t say ‘everything.’ ”

  He chuckled but the light didn’t reach his eyes. “Di dare amore una possibilità.”

  “Which means?”

  “To give love a chance.”

  “That takes time,” I said.

  “Yes, and that we have. Come sleep with me tonight.”

  “Wouldn’t it be better if you came to my—”

  “Get ready for bed and come to me.” He lifted the tumbler of scotch and drained the contents. As he glowered over me, I felt his palpable sadness.

  “Okay,” I said
and rose up to kiss his full lips.

  Heading to my room I wondered why he seemed so sad.

  * * * *

  Later, dressed in my short, pink robe, I knocked on the door of Marcello’s bedroom. I found him sitting naked on an easy chair in the corner, his eyes closed.

  “Were you waiting for me?” I pulled off my robe and settled onto his lap, my head against his broad chest.

  He wrapped me in his arms and buried his nose in my neck. “I have to go away,” he said.

  “Oh?”

  “My mother isn’t doing well and I want to make sure the facility she’s in is giving her the best care. I leave tomorrow for New York.”

  “I thought you told me she was in a retirement facility.”

  “Yes, but they are moving her to the assisted care unit this weekend.”

  “I’m so sorry. If I had realized we could have talked another time and—”

  “Not at all, Jane. I wouldn’t have waited, regardless. I’m not thrilled we’ll be apart but I must go see my mother settled.”

  “Of course. Please tell me what I can do to help you. Would you like me to rub your back? I know how tight your shoulders get when you’re stressed.”

  “That sounds wonderful.”

  We cuddled for a few more moments; then Marcello rose to his feet, lifting me in his arms. He carried me over to the bed and dropped me down. I laughed and rolled away. He looked like a panther, ready to pounce.

  “You can’t get away from me,” he said, capturing my foot and causing me to laugh harder.

  “I thought I was taking care of you,” I said, pretending to struggle.

  “Oh you will, no doubt.”

  When he finally cracked a smile, I felt vastly relieved. He easily covered my body with his, kissing his way up my neck. The bristle around his mouth tickled, causing me to shy away, my cheek pressed to my shoulder, to keep him from my throat. He quickly switched sides, attacking and making me giggle more.

  “Stop,” I laughed, punching his shoulder with my closed fist.

  He did stop; his expression suddenly serious. “Amore mio, I should have told you how I feel in a different way. I know you still need time to heal and I didn’t want to scare you off.”

  “I’m not scared,” I said, touching his cheek. “It’s more a worry that I won’t be able to reciprocate in the way you need.”

  “I’m a patient man, especially when I know what I want.”

  “Patient? I’m not sure I’d use that word to describe you.”

  “What you see as impatience is more frustration that comes with the knowledge that you ignore the quickest remedy for your pain.”

  “Like?”

  “Divorcing Luke.”

  I breathed an audible sigh. “Do we have to talk about this again now?”

  “No. What I really wanted to say is that I love you and that I’m very happy you’re in my life. I will miss you while I’m gone.”

  “Thank you,” I said, drawing his head down so we could kiss. I couldn’t tell him I loved him, knowing my affection for him existed at a different level. I wouldn’t lie but I could speak with my body, confirming the connection we shared with my passion. Caught in the tidal wave of lust that he could so easily inspire with his lips, mouth, and tongue, I let him ride me over the threshold. I ached to have him inside me, filling and stretching me with his cock and his love.

  He broke off the kiss and I breathlessly whispered, “Shall I give you that massage now?”

  Shaking his head he lay down on his back and rolled me on top of him. He reached down and fingered my pussy, rubbing my wetness around my labia. “Always so wonderfully, beautifully wet,” he said. He lifted my hips and slowly brought me down over his phallus.

  I knelt around his wide body, clutching his hairy chest for leverage, moving up and down to match his pace. Each plunge stretched me to perfection, causing my insides to clutch around his erect manhood. Each subsequent rise pulled me briefly away before I was joined to him once more. He continued to ride me, bringing us both to new heights of arousal.

  “Unfold your legs for me,” he growled, “so that you’re sitting down on me fully. Keep the bottoms of your feet on the bed.” My legs hugged his sides. So absolutely penetrated in that moment, I wished for nothing further.

  Another new position left me wondering if Marcello had studied the Kama Sutra. I slid quickly and effortlessly across his pelvis. Knowing how much it excited him to watch me touch myself, I leaned back and reached down, caressing my clit for both the sensations it gave me and his viewing pleasure.

  “Così sexy,” he murmured, reaching up to tug and twist my nipple piercings.

  I rode his rigid cock with abandon. My whole body shook with tremors stoked from the pinching of my nipples, burnishing of my nub and the friction of his thrusts.

  “Will … you … miss … me?” he said, each word accompanying a plunge.

  “Like crazy,” I grunted and meant it.

  I felt him expand inside me right before he bellowed, “Now!”

  Like a runaway train, the orgasm tore through me, exploding out from my core. I shook uncontrollably as the surge of his orgasm joined mine. I watched the rapture roll across his face, the release only complete when his last spurt of cum filled me.

  Collapsing on top of him, breathing hard, I could hear his heart pounding in his chest. He wrapped his arms around my waist and we sighed in unison. The synchronized sighing made us both break into laughter.

  “Much better than a massage, amore mio,” he said as he ran his fingers up and down my spine.

  “I will miss you, Marcello,” I said, lifting my head so I could see his face.

  “You better.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  Marcello left before I awoke.

  I lay in his bed still smelling our sex from the night before. Taking his pillow, I covered my face and breathed in his scent. My pussy felt sore from all the recent play and I rather liked the feeling. Bouncing out of bed, I headed straight to my bathroom to freshen up.

  Back in my room, I flipped open my laptop, pacing as the computer loaded. I had only one thing on my mind, the email from the publisher. I felt ready to face whatever it said.

  To: [email protected]

  From: [email protected]

  Subject: Falling Through The Rabbit Hole, a Memoir

  Jane,

  We would love to publish your story. I finished it this morning. I had a hard time putting it down.

  We happen to have an unexpected opening in our publishing schedule due to an author failing to meet their deadline which could fast track the release of your memoir. We understand that many authors have to balance writing while maintaining other careers. However, if you have the time available now, please let us know. We could feasibly put out a review copy of this book in 2 or 3 months.

  Given the subject matter of your story, it is necessary to change names and locations if you haven’t already. I highly recommend using a pen name. Think it over; we’d be happy to offer some suggestions.

  I’m attaching our standard contract for your review. Please let me know if you have any questions.

  Regards,

  Claudia

  I danced around the room, wishing Marcello was there with me to share my good fortune. I decided I would text him later. I went to the kitchen to get some breakfast and found Janice leaning against the counter drinking coffee and eating a piece of toast.

  “Are you working today?” I asked as I opened the refrigerator and chose a vanilla yogurt.

  “Yes, and I was wondering if you’d meet me for lunch after my shift,” she said, wiping the counter and throwing away her napkin.

  “That sounds great,” I said, smiling. I peeled a banana and dunked it into my yogurt. “I heard from the publisher and she wants to publish my story!”

  Janice surprised me with a warm hug. “I’m so happy for you. You must be jumping out of your skin.”

  “Well put. That’s exactly how I�
�m feeling! Now I just have to sort through the contract.”

  “I’m sure Marcello can help you with that,” Janice said.

  “Good idea. What time later?”

  “Would 2:30 work?”

  “Yep, see you then.”

  * * * *

  I tried writing and then reading but couldn’t get into either. Signing into Facebook, I intended to check my messages but unexpectedly found a friend request waiting for me. Chase Montgomery. Oh my god! I didn’t hit accept right away. I stared at the profile picture that showed him from the chest up and felt warmth infusing my face. I found the sight of his brown hair and hazel eyes with pointed eyebrows and bright smile disconcertingly rousing. Trying to shake it off, I clicked on his name so I could explore his page. I went to the photographs first.

  He had uploaded many albums and I selected the most recent one. I found several pictures of him with various people. The first grouping showed him and a posse of men and women, about ten people in all, at a bar, smiling and embracing for the camera. I guessed the place to be a sports bar because I could see televisions in the background. Scrolling down the album I found another bunch of pictures of Chase surrounded by four attractive women. My stomach clenched and I chided myself for responding so ridiculously.

  I had no interest in him and he had no interest in me.

  I stopped perusing the pics and accepted his friend request. Seized with guilt, I thought of Marcello and what he must be dealing with in New York. I took my cellphone off the charger and brought up the text screen.

  Me: How’s it going? Have you landed? I didn’t realize you’d be leaving so early.

  I waited a few seconds and my phone chimed.

  Marcello: Yes, I landed about an hour ago. I have just now arrived at the facility.

  Me: Oh, well then I’ll let you go.

  Marcello: Thank you for last night. It’s just what I needed.

  Me:  Thank you for letting me be there for you.

  Marcello: Of course. How is your day going?

  Me: Seduction Press wants to publish my book.