My Body-Mine Page 8

  Waiting for my phone to chime again, I heard it ring instead and saw Marcello’s name on the screen.

  “Jane, that’s just fabulous! You must be so excited,” he said.

  “I’m a mix of things. Excited and scared mostly.”

  “I bet. Well, I’m extraordinarily proud of you. You should go out and celebrate. Take Janice with you.”

  “She asked me to meet her for lunch after her shift.”

  “Excellent. I’m sorry I can’t be there to help you celebrate but I will make it up to you as soon as I get home.”

  “Do you know when that will be? I’d love you to go over the contract with me.” At that moment I wished he’d come home before the weekend and ask me to cancel going out with Parker et al.

  “I’m not sure yet but I expect to be gone for a week or so. I’ll tell you when I know more. Feel free to forward the contract and I’ll take a look. I need to run but please stay in touch. I hope you and Janice can reconnect over lunch.”

  “Yeah, me too. Thanks for the call, Marcello.”

  “Of course. Take care and talk soon. Ciao.”

  Although I usually took Sundays off from exercise I felt like I needed to go for a run. Not bothering to drive to the beach, I ran through the neighborhood streets and jammed to the music blaring in my headphones. Once back at the house, I took my time stretching and cleaning up for my lunch with Janice.

  * * * *

  Upon entering Marcello’s Ristorante, I headed to the hostess station to ask after Janice. I strolled over to her section and found it cleaned up for the next shift but empty.

  I strode to the back of the restaurant and pushed through the swinging doors.

  “Hey, Frankie,” I said to the chef as I passed through the kitchen.

  Poking my head into the break room, I waved to the two servers eating their lunch. I strolled to the office, thinking Janice might be checking out with the manager. The door hung slightly ajar so I shoved it open as I entered the office. Janice sat on top of the desk, leaning way forward with her feet perched on the manager’s lap.

  Both of their heads whipped around and Janice pivoted to the side of the desk and slid off. She slipped her feet in the shoes she had left by the door and said, “Ready,” as if nothing torrid had taken place.

  “What the fuck were you thinking?” I said in a harsh whisper as I followed her out into the kitchen.

  “Oh, he’s harmless,” Janice said, smiling over her shoulder.

  “But Marcello is not.”

  She spun to face me and placed her hand on her hips. “Butt out Jane, I know what I’m doing.”

  “Whatever, Janice, but it’s very unwise to shit where you eat. Maybe we should reschedule.”

  “Definitely not,” she said as she grabbed my arm, propelling me farther into the kitchen where Frankie stood in the center, addressing the line cooks.

  “What’s it going to be ladies?” Frankie asked as we approached.

  “I’ll take the lunch portion of the spinach lasagna. Jane?”

  “Eggplant parm for me, please.”

  “Do you want a salad or garlic rolls?” Janice asked me.

  “Just one garlic roll, thanks.”

  Janice drew a salad out of the cooler in the back, dressed it and tossed two garlic rolls into a basket. “We will be in section five,” she said to a passing server.

  “Sure thing,” said the waitress.

  After getting water from the drink station, we entered the restaurant and Janice led me to an empty section near the front.

  For several minutes we sat opposite each other in silence. I couldn’t help but wonder if she wanted me to catch her with the manager so I’d report what I’d seen to Marcello. Remembering Marcello’s wisdom regarding other people’s business, I planned to stay out of it. However, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t confront Janice.

  “Clearly you wanted me to see you with Aidan,” I said, “so I’d like to know what your game is.”

  “Tell Marcello, I don’t care.”

  “You’re not going to put me in the middle of this drama. How about being direct instead of playing games?”

  “You do things your way, and I’ll do what’s right for me.”

  “What about owning your choices and all of that?”

  “They aren’t mutually exclusive,” Janice snapped.

  “Aren’t you the one who told me jealousy doesn’t work in our lifestyle?”

  “There is a huge difference between jealousy over your lover being with someone else and a lover losing interest in you entirely because of another. I know you can see the distinction.”

  “Are you hoping Marcello catches you and punishes you?”

  She tilted her head and rolled her eyes up.

  “Don’t you care at all about what will happen to Aidan?” I asked.

  “Nothing will happen to him,” she said with conviction.

  “And delusion lives large within me? Loyalty is huge to Marcello. Cut it out while you still can and don’t put me in the middle. I stupidly thought you asked me here today so we could work on our friendship.” I paused, glaring at Janice.

  I recalled the endless ringing of the phone that I had endured shortly after moving in with Luke. He had been out of town, and I had been expressly forbidden to go into his locked office or use his phone. Finally he had told me where to find the key above the door jam and I entered his sacred space to disconnect the ringer. I had no real proof that the calls came from Janice, but Luke implied as much, and I found out later how obsessed she had been with him. I felt sorry for her now and realized that once again I had come between her and her lover—at least in her mind. Luke had been done with her long before I came along, but that’s not how it felt to her. She now treaded on dangerous ground, and I wanted no part of it.

  “Have them wrap up my food,” I said as I stood.

  “Come on, Jane,” Janice said, sheepish and apologetic.

  “No thanks, Janice. I don’t particularly like this side of you. I understand you’re upset with Marcello but this,” I said with a sweeping gesture, “is just fucked up and I know you’re smart enough to know it.”

  She stayed in her seat as I found my purse. She seemed dejected, shoulders hunched, eyes empty. I felt sorry for her but also disgusted. Did she respond to Aidan the way I responded to Chase, or was she just using him as a mere pawn in her manipulations? If she played games like that with Luke I’d be willing to bet that is ultimately why he ended things with her. Not that getting on Luke’s bad side necessitated anything so elaborate. After all, he had ultimately shut me out of his life too.

  Ugh! I thought to myself and left the restaurant.

  * * * *

  When I got back to the house, I planned to eat something but my stomach rebelled, and I figured Janice would be home with my lunch soon enough. Opening my computer, I logged into Facebook and then brought up my journal.

  I wrote about the conversation Marcello and I had the night before and his feelings for me. I chronicled my recent experience with Janice and what I thought it all meant to the overall peace in the house. I started to write about seeing Parker again when my computer chimed. Before I had a chance to see who had IM’d me, a tingle ran up my neck and then swirled its way down my spine. I minimized my journal and read:

  Chase: Thanks for friending me back on Facebook.

  I waited a second and then decided to respond.

  Jane: Sure thing.

  Chase: I was hoping to catch you on here.

  Jane: Shouldn’t you be working?

  Chase: Are you worried about my work ethic? I assure you it is as strong as my passion for other things. ;)

  I rolled my eyes.

  Jane: Is there something you wanted?

  Chase: Most definitely, but we can talk about that later.

  Jane: Well … I was writing.

  Chase: So I guess I should get to it then. Are you allowed to come out with us on Saturday?

  Jane: ALLOWED???? What do you
think this is? I’m not a teenager living at home with my parents.

  Chase: Sorry, truly. Wrong choice of words. Will you be joining us on Saturday?

  Jane: I haven’t yet decided but you are not inspiring a “yes.” Maybe we should chat another time? I’m not in the greatest of head spaces.

  Chase: Is something wrong? I’m sorry if I’ve offended you. I was just hoping I’d have the opportunity to get to know you better.

  Jane: Really? Why? Clearly you know more about me than you should and at the very least it should have you running in the opposite direction. I could kill Parker for talking to you about me in the first place.

  Chase: Parker never told me anything about you.

  Jane: Then how …

  Chase: The first date that Parker and Andre had together was cut short. Luke called her in the middle of the date and she came home to take care of you. Andre told me what happened. As much as he knows, anyway. I’m sorry you had to go through it.

  Jane: I’m not sure why Parker puts up with me. I wasn’t very nice to her that next morning.

  Chase: Good friends are hard to find.

  Jane: Yeah.

  Chase: Come out with us on Saturday. Give Andre and me a chance to get to know you. We don’t bite.

  Jane: Okay.

  I wasn’t sure if I said yes over the guilt I felt about Parker and not being there for her or because of Chase. What could it hurt? At least it would pass the time until Marcello got home.

  Chase: Have you read the publisher’s email yet?

  Jane: Yes! She wants to publish my story.

  Chase: You must be so excited. That’s really great!

  Jane: I’m excited and scared.

  Chase: Why scared? Scared people won’t buy it?

  Jane: Subject matter mostly.

  Chase: Will you ever share with me what the story is about?

  Jane: No.

  Chase: No?

  Jane: Sorry, I meant to write, MOST DEFINITELY NOT. That’s a little clearer I think. LOL.

  Chase: I might have to tickle it out of you.

  Jane: You most definitely will not.

  Chase: You fail to understand my powers of persuasion.

  Jane: Oh, I have been up against the best.

  Chase: So I have heard. :P

  Jane: You will pay for that remark!

  Chase: Are you feeling better?

  Jane: I’m not telling!

  A smile beamed across my face and I started to feel rather warm.

  Chase: Are you smiling right now? You know I can see right through the Ethernet. Listen, I mean it when I say I could really use a new friend.

  Jane: As long as that’s all you’re after. You know I’m involved.

  Chase: Yes, I know, and that breaks my heart. :(

  Jane: You’re a big boy. You’ll be just fine.

  Chase: Yeah but will you? ;)

  Jane: Grrr. Talk later.

  I signed out but my pulse raced. What was I getting myself into here?

  My mood had lifted. I felt ravenous and made my way to the kitchen. My lunch sat on the counter so I took the bag, grabbed a fork and headed back to my room.

  * * * *

  Janice and I avoided each other over the next couple of days. Although I thought a lot about the online chat with Chase, I didn’t allow myself to sign back into Facebook for two days. I did however call Parker to let her know I’d meet her at the jazz club and she was over the moon about it. Her words.

  Each morning Marcello called me while I still lay in bed, to connect before the start of his day.

  “Still sleeping?” Marcello asked when I answered my cellphone.

  “Waiting for you to call … my new alarm clock.”

  “I like knowing I’m the start of your morning. Did you have a good day yesterday?”

  “Have you spoken to Janice?” I asked, rolling on my side and sitting up. I saw my disheveled reflection in the mirror and patted down my messy hair with my free hand.

  “She hasn’t returned my calls. How did lunch go?”

  “It didn’t. Could you hold for a sec?”

  “Sure.”

  I slid off the bed and padded into the bathroom. Putting the phone on mute, I plopped down on the toilet seat and peed. I quickly washed my hands, splashing water on my face before grabbing the towel.

  After unmuting the phone I said, “Back.”

  “Feeling better now?”

  “Much.”

  “I sent the publisher’s contract back with some recommendations. You can also do some research online regarding what is standard for first-time authors. Most of the terms seem reasonable but you should try to keep some of the rights like movie, foreign language and audio. I sent some links for you to explore and some changes I suggest you make.”

  “Thank you so much! You can’t imagine how reassuring it is to have you support me in this. It makes it less scary.”

  “You’re very welcome. So lunch with Janice didn’t happen?”

  “I’d rather not discuss the details but suffice it to say, she pissed me off so I left. We’ve been avoiding each other ever since.”

  “That does not sound good.”

  “You think? What do you plan to do about it?”

  “I’m hard pressed to do anything about it from here.” He sighed heavily.

  “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry to even bring it up. I’m sure it will sort out with time. How’s your mother acclimating?”

  “She hates it. She hates not being able to take care of herself. I don’t blame her. She is usually a very sweet woman but has lost patience with the orderlies. I find myself placating her with the same adages she told me in my youth. ‘You will catch more flies with honey than vinegar.’ ”

  “Oh my god,” I said, laughing. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing but it sounds rather funny hearing you say that.”

  “It’s okay. It made her laugh as well.” Marcello’s laughter was such a welcome sound. It relieved some of the angst I felt to be so far away and unable to help or support him.

  “What are your plans for today?” I asked.

  “I’m taking her out of the facility to do some shopping and see a show, if she’s up for it.”

  “Have you considered moving her down here?”

  “Yes, I ask her every time I come to see her. She refuses. Florida is too hot for her and she’d miss New York, even though she barely gets to see it these days.”

  “I miss you.”

  “I miss you as well. I told my mother about you and she wants you to come up next time. She wants to meet you and I’d like that as well.”

  “That’s very flattering. Thank you. I’ve never been to New York.”

  “Never? We must rectify that. When I get home, let’s plan a trip together.”

  “Okay,” I said.

  I felt happy that he wanted me to meet his mother and I could tell the idea invigorated him. By the end of the call, he sounded much better.

  The new Marcello never ceased to amaze me. When we first met, he had been so rude and yes, brutal. I never would have thought him capable of real love and caring and yet he continued to show me otherwise.

  I wished we could all resolve the issues that had shifted our comfortable existence into something quite the opposite. Maybe Janice’s weekend away would do the trick and she’d end whatever game she had started with the manager at Marcello’s Ristorante. I certainly hoped so.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  By Thursday morning I could restrain myself no longer. I wanted to make contact with Chase. I went through my normal routine of booting up my computer, checking my email, and signing into Facebook. I was waiting to hear back from the publisher with regard to the contract changes. I quickly minimized the page and brought up Falling Through The Rabbit Hole. I just planned to read through the first few chapters, to reassure myself of the competency of my writing.

  By the second page I heard the familiar Facebook chime. My heart leapt to my throat and I quickly brought up Fa
cebook. Sandy. I relaxed my shoulders and laughed at myself.

  Sandy: How’s it going?

  Jane: I heard from the publisher.

  Sandy: And?!

  Jane: They’re going to publish my book.

  Sandy: Wow! You must be beside yourself. How long will it take? Are you bouncing around high on life?

  Jane: I’m rather excited and impatient. It could take up to 3 months. That seems like forever.

  Sandy: That sounds quick to me. I’m really excited for you.

  Jane: Thanks! How are you? Jason?

  Sandy: We’re great but still dragging our feet. My mother is crazed to get us to pick a date. I know he’s the one but neither of us feels we need to rush it.

  A horrible thought struck me. Could they be holding off because of what happened with me? My marriage had ended so badly. Please, please, don’t let my life be the roadblock keeping them from moving forward.

  Jane: Sandy, what are you waiting for? Who’s holding off, both of you, or just you?

  Sandy: You know me too well.

  Jane: Does this have something to do with what happened to me?

  A long pause took place as I muttered, “Please no, please no,” to myself. Just then another IM popped up.

  Chase: No hello for your soon to be new friend?

  Jane: Can you give me a minute?

  Chase: Sure.

  Sandy’s pause twisted me in knots but part of me still hoped she had just gotten busy at work.

  Jane: Sandy?

  Sandy: I’m scared.

  Jane: He is nothing like Luke and I knew what I was getting into with him. What you have with Jason is totally different. He loves you, the good kind of love.

  Sandy: Logically, I know what you’re saying but in my heart, I keep thinking, maybe he’ll change.